I cannot believe it, a whole week and not a slur, expletive, Legislative hearing, extra-judicial killing (EJK) or separation. Even Typhoon Lawin bypassed most of the country. Is the Duterte Presidency getting soft?
Sorry, I spoke too soon. Mouthing his boss, House Speaker Alvarez just declared American tourists should be required a Philippine visa under the principle of non-reciprocity. Visitors from China (two million promised), Europe, Japan, and all countries requiring Filipino tourists a visa; will need, presumably, to follow suit. If Duterte is concerned Filipino-Americans might kill him for his “separation” statement, this new initiative should do the trick. Good-bye tourism program. It is no longer more fun in the Philippines.
Otherwise, it was a fruitful week. Our very own Kylie Verzosa was proclaimed Miss International 2016 in Tokyo. Presidential Apostle and Dude Martin Andonar announced this was part of the $19 billion package negotiated by the President with Japan: “Kylie, Kylie, Kylie. Rody, Rody, Rody”. Kiss naman.
Of the $19 billion in goodies, $17 billion was from Marubeni Corp. alone for infrastructure and such. This prompted Malacanang to announce: “We are separating from Tokyo and doing a pivot to Marubeni. After years of being BFF (for the socially clueless, Best Friend Forever) Japan is taking us for granted with its measly aid. It is not personal. We are just re-balancing our foreign relations”. Duterte is scheduled to make a State visit to Marubeni in the coming weeks.
The sum total of the President’s trick-or-treat to China and Japan is now $43 billion and rising even as I speak. Thanks for bringing home the bacon, Sir, or the sushi as it were. This is equivalent to P2.1 trillion, repeat Two Point One Trillion Pesos, or P21,000 for every Filipino man, woman and child. That is simply awesome. We just now have to repay it all in dividends, interest, capital and bribes; not to speak of our sovereignty. But, hey, let’s stay positive.
Duterte was sadly unable to meet with Emperor Akihito due to the sudden demise of the latter’s 100 year old uncle, Prince Mikasa. Our condolences go to the Royal Family and the Japanese people. I just love Japan. How sad is that, 100 years and he passes away just when Duterte is to visit. What was it, the chewing gum, the re-balancing, the potential slur, the sartorial indifference or is there a universal message there from the Imperial deities? Speaking of the One, the President claims God talked to him while on the plane home –I kid you not- but it was on an unrelated matter and it was a different God. The Man told him to stop cursing. What, so Rody is now listening to the Almighty but not to the 100 million Filipinos who have been urging him to do the same? That is not how democracy works.
Japan is a close ally of the U.S. It is the Philippines’ number one trading partner and largest donor. It has a running territorial feud with China which has caused many Japanese companies to relocate their Chinese assembly plants to our country. Tokyo is therefore concerned about our new “forever indebted” relations with China.
Duterte has pulled off the delicate balancing act of talking to Tokyo and talking to Beijing and hoping neither of the two shall meet. Japanese Premier Shinzo Abe looks to have taken to our man. Maybe he sees in Duterte the traditional values of the samurai, strength, integrity, courage and readiness when required to fall on one’s sword. Sen. Dick Gordon believes the President has already done the latter with his controversial pronouncements, figuratively of course. Sen. De Lima, the Liberal Party, the CIA and all the bad people wish Rody would do it literally.
Duterte is seemingly rather fond of Abe as he is, incidentally, of Chinese Premier Xi and Russian President Putin. Absent clarification to the contrary, he has called Japan “our brother”. We are an expanding international family: We have a new found sibling and a new found Sugar Daddy, China. Next stop: Russia and Rody’s favorite uncle and hero, Tito Vladimir. Sir, please just do not confuse “putang ina” with “Putin” which is phonetically similar. We would not want you interchanging them as you did, inadvertently, with Barack.
Dubbed Los Tres Amigos, the President set forth in Beijing his grand vision for world dominance, just China, Russia and the Philippines against the world. That is one bold undertaking. Other than a shared Marxist-Leninist past and one of the longest borders in the world, Russia and China have little in common these days. Russia has gone into Syria and the Crimea where China has remained silent while China has gone into Scarborough Shoals while Russia has remained silent. And, say again, how did we get into such lofty company? Maybe China and Russia want us around because we are so much fun to be with.
The President is back for a well-deserved rest. He has no intention of visiting the graves of EJKs this Nov.1. Rody also has no new Quixotic windmills to battle that we know of: He has dealt with his bucket-list of druglords, the EJKs, the U.S., China, Japan and foreign tourists. There is still unfinished business with De Lima & Co. and odds and ends like traffic and jobs but, you know what, Rome was not built in a day, so let’s give him a break.
But we are not done with the shocks and the scares. In case anybody has forgotten, Monday is Halloween.